The corner of her lips twitched
bringing them to a frown.

"yes?" she snapped

Everyone in the room is looking at me now.
I couldn't breathe a word

"You know you don't have much time left. Critique's next week and you're the first in the list.
You have nothing decent to show."

All I could do was stare at her blanking.
Giving a nod or two now and then.

I'm tired.
I'm tired.
I'm tired.

Jon messaged me.
(You know, I am more assured now that you have some magical powers)
He told me that he hope everything is going the right way for me.
It's not, Jon, it's totally not going the right way.
Every thing is falling apart.

Jon I need you,
and I really do wish you're here with me.
You volunteered to clear my workload for me.
You volunteered to accompany and talk to me.
You even repeated the question thrice.
And reassured me twice that you're going to stay late in school and
I can look for you any time.
but as always I replied "I'm going to be fine"
I am such an idiot right?

----
This week
13.03 Asian Art History Presentation
14.03 Graphic Tradition Part II concepts presentation

Next week
17.03 HW111 presentation
19.03 French oral test
19.03 Graphic Design II Individual critique
19.03 Photography critique

Labels: adm, school, stress

imgaes via here

The sky is clear.
but I'm lack of sleep.
It was a chilly morning and i stared at my
long to-do list before school starts.
Term breaks are never meant to be breaks
but a week to complete the uncompleted.

Labels: adm, school, stress, time

I'm needing more emotional support these days.
From whom? I don't really know.
It's been a perfect example of being lonely around people.
Like there's a lot of people around, but it's still empty there.
It's my own problem I guess.

Start missing some people whom I used to go to when I needed someone.
Start missing people who listens to me crying over the phone.
Start missing people who have seen the worst days I've been through.
Start missing people who I don't really talk to that much these days.
Start missing people who allows me to keep dreaming without reminding me of the reality.
Start missing people who would tell me I'm the best and I can do anything.
Start missing people who don't exist at all.

I'm a little scared of life these days
No I'm not depressed.
No worries people, I'm fine.
Just a little disappointed with myself and life thus far
Not really.
Actually I'm a little confused.
I think I need another session of breaking down and crying all night.
maybe with a company this time round?
But people who offered the help are always the wrong people.
Not wrong as in I don't need them but just morally wrong.
And I have no someone whom I can always go to, no matter what.
And people always ask what's wrong what's wrong.
but the fact is I don't have the answer too.
Perhaps it's the side effects of falling from the high end.
Perhaps it's just expectations not met.
Perhaps it's just the nightmares I have at night and no one but 4 walls that enclose me.

And I'm actually jealous of yl who could actually throw everything aside and give herself a little break to pamper herself.
yes i refer to it as pamper.
Some times some things, only the person could help himself.
I'm sure she'll walk out from it soon,
she just needs some time,
I hope she won't take long.

It takes some courage to neglect everything.
And I worry about attendance in school when i am tempted to go MIA.
What a loser. Rj says I'm different cause at least I don't go MIA.
Now it sounds like a joke doesn't it?

Labels: adm, confused, emotional, sad, school, stress

The first week of school was
Hectic.
Frankly, I'm not copping with it that well.
And if you see me online,
you'll always receive the (autoreply) message
"Busy doing work. Not at computer right now"

There's 2 VIS presentations tomorrow and
I've completed none.
I've just started on one this morning though.
gosh.
I need to plan my time more wisely.

Labels: adm, school, stress