I woke up with eyes and throat pain and swollen.
The blisters on my foot still hurts.
I sat the the edge of my bed
breathing in heavy air in total darkness
still feeling sore from yesterday.
But I'm loved.
It's a blessing to know I'm loved.

I refused to look at my sister in the morning.
cause my eyes easily damps these days.
I hum my favourite song quietly
and cuddled myself.
I sms-ed johnson and told him that he needn't accompany me.
I need to rush back to school,
it'll make no sense for him to travel that far.
He was sweet enough already, really.
and I know I'm loved.

I was searching frantically in the car park.
I kept clicking on the car remote control.
no reaction.
Walked around and around the car park for the longest time.
There was no sight of the gray vehicle
nor its unlocking sound.
I called sister to check for the car's location.
She says it's exactly where I am.
"Wait. I'll find you later after I finish my stuffs if you still cannot find"
She sounds frustrated.
I sat down beside a car and waited.
A lady asked if I was okay.
I nod and smiled, replying with a "thank you"
She was in her 50s, gray hair and her face was wrinkled
yet she was the most beautiful person on earth.

When sister came.
She apologized.
She forgot that she parked in another car park today.
I said nothing.
Sshe asked if I was ok and
tears start streaming down my cheeks.
"Not okay, I'm not okay"

I wasn't mad at her.
But my body just wasn't functioning well.
I just need someone to embrace me and
assures me that everything is okay.
Even if that person was uncertain too.

Then I remember some things vids said yesterday.
And I was looking through the good night messages he sent.
And I'm reminded again,
I'm loved.
And I remember the "cheer-ups" from ter and jiesheng.
And I remember the random talk with joe
And I remember the people I love.
So yeaps.
(: loves.

Labels: emotional, family, happy, love, sad