There's a sense of guilt lurking.
The whole situation's morphed now, now it's all clear, it's my bad.

That's it. I'm gonna step away from this, for true enough, I'm no where near being someone who is in position to speak. Neither am I fit to be giving fair judgements to you, especially after the first few meetings. This is clearly not the 'me' I know of. I'm swayed this time round, because I was worried. I was biased. I didn't want her to get hurt and i predetermined you to be one of those sharp edges. Frankly, I was more than happy when there's someone with her through her hardest times. And you did well, no doubt. I so thank you very much. She could still dwell in the old well of tears and never be saved. Yet you were around to savage the situation.

Nevertheless, it works like a double-edged sword. All I can say is I learnt a little something each time, even though it is your story, not mine. Every little step of life has it's lesson to teach. Something else always comes when it all seemed nice and perfect isn't it? Your presence only seconded one of the thoughts I buried deep within me. You were a perfect example.

Like any other of us, I'm going to step back now. She will still have us when she needs us. For now, she has to believe that I'm not the best adviser, nor the best time- slowing factor she needs. For though I am willing to be anything for her, for now, I will only agree to do it if I don't hurt any other friend.

Side note: For a moment, I realized I was a little too reliant on someone emotionally. I was frantically searching his contact on the msn list, only to no avail. He's like a drug to heal the soul, for the people around do get hurt too when someone attempts to kill another. A drug I yearned right now.

He's online. How strange.

Labels: relationship