the floating lollies

gallery and bar

2008-04-12T11:56:00.002+08:00

Some places I've been wating to go since forever.
I am so going here after exams.
Who's with me?

http://www.nightandday.sg/

quotes

2008-04-12T09:29:00.009+08:00

To be in love is merely to be
In a state of perpetual anesthesia:
To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god
Or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
~ by H.L. Mencken

I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love.
~ by F. Sagan

Love asks me no questions, And gives me endless support.
~ by Willam Shakespeare

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
~ by Albert Einstein

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
~ by Lily Tomlin~

I love you
Not only for what you are
But for what I am
When I am with you
~ by Roy Croft

----

I've been researching. What am I thinking? These little kids. These little children who're barely 13. They're thinking about innocence. They're hoping innocence will stay. Innocence, it's a brilliant thing, And they're not supposed to be thinking bout losing innocence cause that's what they should have naturally. But now the fact that they're doubting themselves makes me doubt them even more. What was I doing when I was 13?

Well I don't wish to sound old, but I realized I'm not any older. (by saying this, I know you'd relate me to some 40 year old auntie) Well, they're doing things I've been doing. I'm getting a little afraid of these kids. Oh well, I should stop calling them kids. I'll leave it hanging for now, will conclude on Tuesday, after presentation.

p.s. some of them are putting so much make up that I'll never believe they're only 13.

p.s. i have to admit. I am very very very jealous of the sota kids. I wish I can be a sota-ian too. o.o

And anways, random, the schools are using videos like this on youtube to teach photosynthesis these days,

kinda cute if you ask me

parsley

2008-04-11T00:51:00.004+08:00

dear parsley,
I haven't told someone so much about daddy before.
Somehow, today I just couldn't stop.
And I really miss nice talks like that,
especially during exam periods.
It was a great afternoon, thanks!
It's been really nice with you around.
(:

love,
jia

:3

2008-04-07T16:56:00.000+08:00

I think I love the school's new wing.

identity

2008-04-05T22:16:00.012+08:00

My name.
I'm not very used to my friends calling me Jackie.
Jackie. Wacky Boggie.
because it's a name, with no value.
It's a name which resembles my name.
It's a name for my blond lecturers.
It's a name for employers to remember me.
It's a name, for new friends to remember me.
And I only introduced jackie when someone can't pronounce my name.

And because of this, whenever someone calls me that,
I switch to a very corporate mode.
School. Work.
It just feels weird,
especially when a friend I know for a very long time calls me that.
Especially someone I'm very closed to.
Sometimes, I get embarrassed.
Sometimes, It feels terrible.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm being mocked at.
Sometimes I feel it's not me.

Maybe I'm just not used to it.
Not used to my own name.

----

note.
sometimes, I feel very lost.
It feels a little out of place when I can't make friends with some leos and gemini.
i can clique well with them.
Rights? No?
Well, I am supposed to.
I should be able to.
We should be best friends.
But some, no matter how hard, we're just there.
stagnant a superficial level.

maybe I'm not very aries.
At least a couple of people have told me that.
Or maybe I am, in some areas.
Not in others.
Not very pisces too rights?
And I don't really trust the horoscope readings at the back of magazines.
there's nothing to fall back on.

I recall Lauren telling me
"You don't feel aries, but you happen to be one."
It's this feeling when you're first day in school
And you can't find your class.
Except maybe,
my first day lasts very long.

I miss sitting behind Lauren.
Very much.

----

I think.
I've created a sting.
A wall
Something you're afraid to cross.
I appear to be a freak.
sensitive freak we once talked about
someone you're afraid of
cause i went mad once
and.
it's just.
*silence*

presentation

2008-04-04T16:01:00.003+08:00

Graphic Design Presentation
"the external critics were suprised that you have such strong ideas and they couldn't believe you just transfered major!"

(: worthed my 3 days of sleepless nights.
Will sleep today. I will sleep 12 hours today!
But there's this little sting that astrid's not happy with my non-environmental-friendly idea.
Will improve. You'll be impressed.
*grins*

goooorh

2008-04-03T23:33:00.003+08:00

Have been sick.
Seen a doctor because I need to.
need the little white paper with the doctor's beautiful signature.
baa.
Didn't take the medication in the end.
Because it'll cause drowsiness.
Took non-drowsy panadol instead
Can't afford to fall sick now.
dammit.

*continues to work*
*work more*

I hope this comes to an end. soon.
I miss Mommy. hurs.

0207

2008-04-02T01:42:00.006+08:00

02:07am
I am rushing photog essay and my mobile phone lights up.
Message Inbox (1)
"Need anythin to perk up not?"

Sweet Piggy delivered supper in the cold cold night
thankyous thankyous.
;D

more celebratn

2008-04-01T18:52:00.007+08:00

The awkward photo
I always don't know where to lean towards to.

(Why did the vertical photo become horizontal after uploading? o.o)

I was watching the video again.
WAH i am so so irritated by myself.
LOL. i don't like my own voice hurs.
how can you all stand me hurs?
cannot cannot
I need to hire a detective to document on myself
and monitor my behavior.

----
sat celebrated birthday yang & jee at HRC
Serving was the size for the cows.
We're back to the silly old days where
we sit at the last roll of the LT during choir sessions.

Afternoon was with sisters.
Things went very behind time and
nothing was according to planned
(there was no plans, is there?)
But it was perfect.
Though they were much smarter
and noticed I tried to pay.
It's the worst idea to sit right in front of the cashier rights?
idiot.

Staying in toilet to wait for instructions
Spaghettis, Pizza, Finger-foods
Coincidentally seeing aloy
Lemon Cheesecake
Agnes B & Eclat D'Arpege
"Mission" at borders - It was such a thrill (:
"Man"-hunting at Harrys
Alcohol, Music and cheap thrill:
match-making session at the next table with
Xu-Chun-Mei-Old-English-teacher
in revealing bare-back red dress.

Next up, Bintan/Bangkok/Redang trip?

----

To my other half, another qiqi.
I don't know if I'm the best person,
but I wanna give you a big big hug. ;D
I'll be around if you need me to.

her pov

2008-03-30T19:40:00.002+08:00

It was a surge of distress

"I feel like I was a slut, some bitch, when you said that"
"Well maybe my words were a little too harsh,
but that was exactly how I felt at the point of time"

decudni fles

2008-03-30T19:27:00.005+08:00

I tend to
neglect
don't I?
Always
too busy.
Busy
With?
Sometimes,
It's just
more
of, maybe
fear and
self-
isolation.
For the
first
time, I
approached
when I
needed
someone.
It's a
whirlwind
of relief
from
reliance
on you.

3am

2008-03-29T03:23:00.004+08:00

3am.
I was anticipating an awkward meeting,
i had the guts to message you, didn't I?

A light Blueberry scent diffuses into thin air
The air was cold and Mcs was the only place that's lit.
You mumbled a soft "I'll go get a drink" when I arrived.
There a surge of sadness that came at that moment.
It's a little different this time.

I sorry I made you wait 5 hours.
I swear it wasn't intentional.
I.. fell asleep. >.< (as usual)
The phone's ringing volume was on the loudest.
Somehow I just couldn't hear.
But it wasn't a good excuse.

The presents were filled with blueberries.
one of my favorite fruits.
The card was embellished with paper cuttings
The story broken into chapters came in little reminders of sweetness.

You mumbled if I want to be home.
I nodded.
I can't really ask for more.
I find myself becoming this person I used to hate.

p.s. OIE. bomb went back to 2 layers.
you liar. LOLS.

much loved

2008-03-27T16:54:00.009+08:00

On my birthday,
I was the happiest girl on the earth.

8:30
Yet I'm working despite it was my birthday.
Jon came 5 minutes before I was about to leave and gave me a jar of hello pandas
(He remembers (: )
and...
OMG this huge half-a metre elmo with cheesy smile and oversized pants.
It was so cute I couldn't resist.
I've stopped being fond of soft toys
but that red fuzzy thing made me smile from inside
and I genuinely forget everything else at that point of time.

12:30
Met Jerms for lunch cause he volunteered to make lunch for me
He's such a good cook
and OMG he's so good at acting!
(tbc later in the later part of the entry)

4:00pm
Met Hessie for Dinner Dinner.
She wanted to go JP for lunch cause school's food's kinda boring.
So we went bentobox for dinner
and as drama queen as ever,
she wanted to get movie tickets and dinner when she only has 6SGD in her wallet
-______-'''
bwahahahaa.
Jan popped out from nowhere later with a little cake (and no lighter)
So i kinda 'pretended' this actually is light
when i pose to 'blow' the flame.

6:30pm
was rebellious
I, urms, skipped french.
And apparently I think I'm not allowed to retake the quiz now.

8pm.
I was supposed to meet karelin for dinner in school.
I mean, it's late ya lor..
so I was quite surprise when she looked for me with xm, ridz, ruyi, hafi and jeannie.
And we're going out for dinner instead! xm's driving.
I went to the locker and happen to meet jerms there.
he was looking for his camera, after which,
they led me to the lift to the basement
to the door....
oh wait.... this way is not the way to the carpark!
then...
i realised...
outside the glass doors,
beside the fountains...
there's few people frantically preparing so stuff which looks like food. (it's dark it's dark)
then i realise..
oh wait....
I know these people.
Yingherng, ken, qing, lixian, yifang, kimsiang
I naturally exclaimed
"heys! what are you guys doing here?"
.
.
.
.
..
...
Yes, apparently.
Yes, there's a party.
BBQ, loads of people I love
The animation people I love so much
Yes, and yes,
apparently it's my surprise birthday party.
like.. OH MY GAWD.
;DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
omg omg.

----

You know, i planned out my 21st, to be this boring and plain day.
And this this this..
I've never never thought of.
More people came..
Bernard, yizhi, peiling, hanzhi...

And thankyous thankyous thankyous
I couldn't be more grateful
I'm so loved I'm so loved.
I'm floatinggggggggggggg
Gosh I really miss animation.
I miss overnights in school
I miss you guys.

Thankyou Thankyou
Thankyou seems to be much lesser than than I want to express.
LOL. and yes i regret I did not stay till the curry is done
some issues with my sister and i have to go
She's a disgusting piece of shit.
LOL. You're the best le laaa~
*More Hugs*

yay ADM FOC group 8!
yay 2D animation Davide's class!
yay FDN Group 5!

Photos HERE
Credits to jerms

----

distance

2008-03-27T16:45:00.002+08:00

it feels almost like a dream i once have
I creep towards the dark room lit with dim red lights,
pushing open the door with one hand
while desperately rubbing blood off another.
I saw you lying there, motionless,
covered in a pool of blood.

It just me
Not being able to handle
I tried to expunge the memory off my mind
But I'm grasping on to guilt as tightly as I can.

Unable to eradicate these feelings.
Honestly, rather, it's not wanting to.
I might become, less humane.

Importance,
still as important.
A little distance but still as important.

I've been alone
Just me and myself.
Sometimes I feel lonely
But ironically, I'm used to this personal space.
I'm being selfish you'd say.
And I'll admit I am.
Don't you agree that close proximity
always bring about repelling forces?

I'm lifted, by many other hands
with much love and tender care.
So much so that
it's easy enough to remain selfish and forget

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I couldn't say anything more.
Anything more only makes me look more superficial.

birthday

2008-03-26T16:13:00.002+08:00

Birthday Celebration Schedule

22mar\sat\Dinner\Zus
23mar\sun\Dinner\Hes, Bel, ww, Mindy, Jan & Manda
26mar\wed\Lunch\Jerome
26mar\wed\Dinner\Hester
26mar\wed\Supper\Amination peeps
28mar\fri\Dinner\Alan, Sam & Kh
29mar\sat\Dinner\Sh, Wen, Silly, Yiru & Vids
30mar\sun\Dinner\Yang & Jee

broke

2008-03-25T18:00:00.015+08:00

my big big birthday present is here.

----

him: Hi, I have sent e car for repair. e boot came out n clips need replacement. e bill works out to 300 and my sis wants 60 for loss of use. She wanted more but ive checked e insurance rate. So i guess its e best help i can offer. Do you prefer to wire in the money? I will email you the receipt.

me: yes please email to......

him: Yup will send you by tonight. I tried my best to ask around for the lowest price alr.

me: lol thanks. gosh. my biggest birthday present.

him: Is that your car? its so minor. i once crashed a big time e car needs to be scraped. that's why i underestand. u are lucky. cheer up, i helped u save a little. My sis is quite a riper. Could you wire in the money by 5 today? Don't worry, i'm sure u will have a bigger bday surprise coming. Be positive...

me: o.o okok 5pm

him: Hi we are dead. e car needs to be put here for another day. Will try to cover the extra loss of use for u i guess. Sorry to bug u

me: I don't understand. So needs more money? Ahhhh i really don't have money le la

him: Nah, i will talk to my sis if she doesnt agree, i will top for u. Dont worry about it.

---- Happy birthdays >.> He's actually quite nice.

linkages

2008-03-24T11:51:00.002+08:00

i like the everything around me to be organized.
Each has their own place and I like them to remain in their place.
I don't like them interacting with one another,
engaging in some sort of relationship
or building linkages without myself being aware.
I just don't really like it.

a friend

2008-03-22T00:36:00.007+08:00

She thinks it is wrong.
And I used to think it is wrong too.
Ethically wrong
Morally wrong.
Wrong, in general. Everything.
Even though there's nothing.
But the fact that we're allowing this nothingness to happen,
is wrong.

----

I'm sorry Joey.
You just came at the wrong time.
The time when I'm unwilling to give in
but doesn't wish someone to tell me it's "never mind"
But you did anyway.
Cause you're nice, too nice.
And I do treasure this and you.
You just came at the wrong time.

----

"If others know, how will they look at you"
Sometimes. I don't know.
It's kinda hurtful, her words.
Perhaps this is exactly why
why we don't breathe a word to anyone else.

I've always been crying alone.
And perhaps I should be.
"I'm ok I'm ok"
It's all I can say

car accident

2008-03-20T16:11:00.002+08:00

car accident.
car,
knocked into car.
fell asleepa at the junction again.
He's car was dented.

Happy birthday.
First present to myself
a big hole in the pocket.

I think I shall stop driving
till the day I get enough sleep.

mess

2008-03-18T19:26:00.004+08:00

06thirtyam
I spent 10 hours overnight in the darkroom to finish 9 prints
I realise most prints turned yellow due to exhausted fixer
I drove home so sister could use the car
I almost knock into a bus
I fell asleep at the traffic junction

11thirtyam
I forgot to charge hp before leaving the house
I forgot to bring ezlink
I forgot to bring to-buy list
I boarded the wrong bus
I forgot to bring house keys

----
Happy birthday Daddy

hugII

2008-03-16T21:54:00.008+08:00

The hug was, comforting
And it was a hug that came when i needed it.

but i can only feel your bones leh
eat more lehs.

I've been crazy(wacky).
And you're probably one of the few who have seen this side of me.
But that's because it's been comfortable with you around,
that I need not care about anything and everything
and just be me.
And I know no matter what,
you'll be there to pat me on the head (like a dog)
Thank yous thank yous. lol

----

i seriously seriously dun feel like going school.

----
"thanks jia qi
it's just nice to hang the night out with someone like you
haha
knowing you're like less than 15 mins of slow walking
and 5 mins of running
away
good night
(:"

I didn't realise that I too have someone 5 minutes away from me now.
;D

new soul

2008-03-15T08:11:00.001+08:00

也许不是爱着你
只是太习惯了依靠。

supermarket

2008-03-14T21:29:00.003+08:00

i have a new favourite supermarket
fairprice finest.
Bukit Timah Plaza.

It's spacious, white, bright, clean and organised.
Items are neatly shelved.
Shelves are up to eye-level.
It's got blueberries and all kinds of berries.
It's got cream and huge selection of cereals.

I still like King Albert Park's coldstorage though.
It's a different kind of like.

----
I just realised something,
David is lactose-intolerant,
Jonathan is lactose-intolerant,
so is Evan

angel

2008-03-13T01:32:00.003+08:00

----jon
you? angel?
pui pui pui pui pui. lols
I shoved you aside but you didn't leave
and came back embracing me beneath your wings.
Thank you angel.

----vids
URGENT
hugs and kisses required.
lols. i want that tagg. >..<

----ter
cheer up girl (:
I'm not too sure if i can do anything
but i've got plenty of big hugs i can give you.

caught

2008-03-12T20:45:00.004+08:00

The corner of her lips twitched
bringing them to a frown.

"yes?" she snapped

Everyone in the room is looking at me now.
I couldn't breathe a word

"You know you don't have much time left. Critique's next week and you're the first in the list.
You have nothing decent to show."

All I could do was stare at her blanking.
Giving a nod or two now and then.

I'm tired.
I'm tired.
I'm tired.

Jon messaged me.
(You know, I am more assured now that you have some magical powers)
He told me that he hope everything is going the right way for me.
It's not, Jon, it's totally not going the right way.
Every thing is falling apart.

Jon I need you,
and I really do wish you're here with me.
You volunteered to clear my workload for me.
You volunteered to accompany and talk to me.
You even repeated the question thrice.
And reassured me twice that you're going to stay late in school and
I can look for you any time.
but as always I replied "I'm going to be fine"
I am such an idiot right?

----
This week
13.03 Asian Art History Presentation
14.03 Graphic Tradition Part II concepts presentation

Next week
17.03 HW111 presentation
19.03 French oral test
19.03 Graphic Design II Individual critique
19.03 Photography critique

(:

2008-03-11T23:46:00.006+08:00

I couldn't be more protected and blessed.
David, Jerome, Evan, Wenwen, Shirhee, Yiru, Silly.
je vous remercie infiniment.

rooted.

2008-03-10T11:51:00.005+08:00

If you love me,

do not question me what happened.
But tell me how blue the sky is today
Tell me how pretty the flowers are today.

do not ask me if I'm ok.
cause I won't tell you I'm not .
And I don't want to.
But tell me how happy and blessed you are today.
Tell me how someone made you smile today.

do not give me that worried smile.
please pretend nothing has ever happened.

----
Loves and dears,
thanks for the messages and calls.
I'm being selfish.
But please let me be,
for a moment at least.

The virtual world haunts me sometimes,
like now.

let go

2008-03-10T02:01:00.006+08:00

The pink aura is a mockery.
Laughing at me from afar.

The necklace broke.
I tried to salvage it by grabbing on tightly to the last few beads.
But when I open my hands to look at the beads,
they became fresh blood that stains the skin.
Fresh red blood that I couldn't hold.
Not anymore.
I dropped the remaining beads frantically
allowing the black crystals to scatter the dirty floor.

It wasn't a misfortune.
I had an answer, finally.
And I had a reason, to move on,
An excuse, to let go,
finally.

When I was home,
I packed everything related to you in a box.
Including your childish smiles.
Including the love I had
And shelved the box away in a corner.
9th march 2008.

Happy Birthday Silly, happy birthday Marcus,
Happy birthday,
shelved love.

----
hellos.
I'm sorry I lied.
I'm sorry I gave another excuse.
I'm sorry I tried to fool you.
I needn't need to I know, but I guess I'm just so used to it.
Lying.
Selective disclosure.

I'm sorry if I made you worry.
I 'm sorry I didn't pick up your call.
It's just that I've reached a point where tears could no longer take the pain away.
I cried. But the pain is still as haunting.
Then it's just fatigue. Useless fatigue.
And to a point where no, it's no longer healthy at all.

----

p.s. 10th march onwards,
I will be very busy with school work
I want to be very busy with school work.

again

2008-03-06T22:10:00.007+08:00

Again.
My mind has taken over the body
Reaches for the soul, but to no avail.
It is tired. I am tired.
I am rushing against time.
Making use of what I have
Living my life.
I am trying my best.
But you.
I am utterly disappointed.

Yet again, and again.
You'll never change, will you?
Chopping off fingers. Divorce. Long-distance calls.
Another episode of Family Drama.
A comedy if you ask me.

Age has taken over your mind
and your actions were no longer under control.
You throw your temper like a little kid.
Spoilt kid.

We work like detectives.
Questioning anyone involved.
Uncovering any possible documents you try to hide.
Digging any possible information available.

I don't know what to do anymore.
I can't do anything anymore.
Your empty promises
left me drenched in cold rain.
And lost the respect I once have in you.

hugs

2008-03-03T11:48:00.004+08:00

For some reason,

I could picture hugging him from the back
but I can't really picture hugging him in the front.
Perhaps it's because I've seen another girl doing it
and he just stood there motionlessly, not hugging back.
I'm just scared that it'll happen to me.
Or rather, I'm quite confident that it'll happen.
Not putting him in that situation is the best, isn't it?

I've always liked the idea of hugs from behind.

Perhaps you're right, it is a hug to protect.

but the truth is the desire to protect him is
much stronger than the need to be loved.

I'm standing at the edge of the abyss.
Not wanting to jump in and not wanting to back off.
I want to stand still, forever at the edge.
I'm scared. Hmmm but it is not possible
and something has to be done,
rights?

-----
It's exceptionally cold this moning.
And I've experienced the same kind of mornings
and usually I'll just shiver in pain.
Sometimes I'll tear a little when I sat at the edge of the bed.
Today was a little different.
Really lahhh, okay? ;D

blue

2008-03-01T15:08:00.005+08:00

imgaes via here

The sky is clear.
but I'm lack of sleep.
It was a chilly morning and i stared at my
long to-do list before school starts.
Term breaks are never meant to be breaks
but a week to complete the uncompleted.

后备轮胎

2008-02-27T22:16:00.007+08:00

谁都不想当后备轮胎。
知道自己的存在是暂时取代他人时，
心是闷的，是柠檬酸酸的刺痛。

说穿了，
我们都有后备轮胎
我们可能都是你心中别人的后备轮胎。
因为人是寂寞的
是自私的。
失去一个人，另一个人的陪伴
能疗伤，能遗忘。

一个，两个。
不晓得。
想到这里，就不再那么气你了。

little things

2008-02-26T22:21:00.014+08:00

I admit that most of the pictures are taken by me (edit edit. i realise most of the photos were taken by david toh. lols) and am terribly sorry for all sufferings done by the undesirable photos posted here. These photos are meant to be private and not shared. However I feel that it's a shame not to share the joy, so why not? :D

film noir.

2008-02-24T19:30:00.008+08:00

You're like film noir to me.
There's only black, whites
and occasional tint of grays.

There is no colour.
No hues, no shades of the autumn, spring or summer.
Yet like all film noir,
you have the strongest power to storytelling.

Sitting on benches in the early morning
saying hello to random people was a bliss.
Looking at the lime-green grassfield was a bliss.
Framing the sun as petals of red gathered around it was a bliss.
And I appreciate these little things like this in life.

desperado

2008-02-22T16:30:00.002+08:00

How do you look when you look into the mirror?
What's your face expression?
Were you smiling...
in your lips, your velvet skin or your eyes?
I wonder if you can hear me
But my eyes are stuck along your neckline,
still and rigid broad shoulders.

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You better let somebody love you
You better let somebody love you
Before it's too late....

sweet revenge.

2008-02-22T01:06:00.007+08:00

You see this coming.
it has happened a lot of times.
But you still fell for it.
I fell for it willingly.

It's a parcel. It's not transparent.
You can't see what's inside.
A fragile glass box.
You're delighted at that very instant when you opened the box.
it's not anything fantastic inside
But you're genuinely happy.
You excitedly hugged the parcel and jumped around.
Then at this very moment
You realised everyone else around you received the same parcel,
from the same person.
This moment, how do you feel?
If you ask me, I feel stupid.
Because it wasn't material happiness
It was...

Just because I know how it feels.
So crudely, I used it on you,
even when there is nothing for the other person
I do it, knowing that you'll feel how I feel.

160208

2008-02-17T23:00:00.003+08:00

I don't know why I complicate things.
My brain's a little slow.
I need time to process some thinkings.
It isn't a big deal isn't it?
Yes it isn't. But I was paranoid.
You understood rights?

Maybe I do have a box which I've been hiding.
Transparent glass or opaque; I'm not too sure.
But as I always say, I'm a big girl. Don't worry.
And I've been thankful that you're around, really.

p.s. The last line of Feb 11's entry was referring to you.

five.

2008-02-13T09:54:00.001+08:00

there's a sting min my eyes.
The unwillingness to open up.
not to people I've know long ago.
Not wanting to be seemed as a problematic kid.
Cry alone.
hid away from the rest of the world.
And it seemed like a mockery that i'm voted one of the happiest people.
I know how that feels.
He's right.
It has got to end.
I cannot hold on to it for the rest of the life or twenty, thirty years down the road, it'll be the same.
I need to get out to see something new. Rights?
If not I can't do anything else.

the eyes

2008-02-12T17:35:00.000+08:00

I looked at her 2 ponytails,
the red bruise on her knee
then into her eyes.

She looked back,
with the slightest sign of confusion

I touched my hair swiftly and arranged my fringe,
still keeping the eye contact.
Surprisingly, she mirrored my actions,
Briefly touching her forehead because her fringe is tied tightly into the ponytails.

In her eyes,
I found comfort.
But I looked away.
When I was back,
She's still there,
but now, she's more certain then before.

I found comfort in her eyes, but I looked away.
Why did I look away?
Children has the most magnificent power of love
and they can look into your eyes for longest time.
And as we grow older,
we became more and more afraid of eye contacts.
Perhaps we lost some confidence.
Perhaps we became cynical about life.

Researches show that eye contact builds affection.
I'm not sure if it proves anything,
but at the end of the 30 minutes train ride,
I wanted to embrace her in my arms and kiss her bruised knee.

la vie en rose

2008-02-11T22:01:00.000+08:00

想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
傻瓜
想太多
想太多
想太多
想太多
生命中多一点点的温暖

pre-vday

2008-02-08T09:12:00.001+08:00

People I'm grateful for
Parents
Dad for doting on me and Mommy for teaching me a lot of things.
I always say that I don't miss you guys but I often cry when I receive your emails.
I always grumble how anyone can leave their children in another country but I'm grateful I could take care of myself . And I don't realize until other friends boast on stuffs like they can change a light bulb. And sometimes I do think that it is unfair for me that I have to work while studying, but I realize later that I didn't want when you volunteered to send money back. And I can truly say that I'm living off my own hands now. It's not something all parents so, but it's something I'm happy you did. I'm not a spoilt brat. *winks*

Sister
I don't say it but I do treasure you ok. LOLS. And one main reason why I don't wanna stay in hall is because of you. haha Okay okay I do nag at you a lot (you think I like to nag at you?) but I think you deserved to be nagged. :x But Anyhoos, I can't imagine life without you.

David
My erac ekat. One who's always doing a lot of stuffs to make me smile. One whom I can give up anything just to ensure he's doing okay. The only friend who's generous in saying "I love you" which I myself sometimes wish I have more courage to do so.

Jonathan
The person who wouldn't mind telling me straight in the face that he is a friend who will be there for me because I am worthy. One who doesn't ask for anything but will give everything. One who always say the right things when I most needed. I told him he has magical powers haha. One who always told me I deserve a good man and one who I've promised that he'll be the first to know when I'm attached. And one that makes me realize how fortunate I have been. And I like everything about him. Even when he suans me and nag at me. Feels like my dad la even he's only one year older. But still, I feel loved.

Wenwen
The first person that knows my secret. :) Don't know how, but we did get close on the first time we met (usually not in most of the case) and now it's coming to a 7 year friendship, still close and strong. I've always been jealous of her family - it's like the standard happy family in the dictionaries. (: lols But now I feel loved when she talks about them.

Hester
The person that helped me through my crappy JC life. I remember I didn't like her in the beginning :x HAHA. I'm sure she remembers too. But now she's one crazy friend whom I can do anything and everything with. And one friend who you'll never see me sad or quiet when I'm with her. I always have a lot to tell her and she always have her ways to make me laugh till my jaws hurt. :D

Jimmy
My best online budd. *huge grins*. I've only seen him once in person but he know so much about my life, maybe even more than someone I meet everyday. He might not know the large part of it, but he knows stuffs which very little people know. And monkey monkey thank piggy piggy for being there. For poking me every now and then and disturbing me. For offering to meet me up late at night when I'm not emotionally-okay. (:

Joe
The only person apart from wenshing who can always understand my art. It's funny but sometimes I do think he's a heart and brain that are built in-sync with mine. He understood my feelings and reasons behind every choice, no matter if it's emo or happy. And when we always talk, it's about life in large and in-dept feelings about love and beauty which I can never talk to anyone else. He's like a source of wealth that truly touches my heart. And I love his films too. I love his works. And I love long late night conversations with him that always sets me thinking.

Wenshing
My favourite lecturer. My favourite even when everyone is talking bad about her behind her back. But she gave me courage. She let me know that whatever I was thinking is important even though no one cares about it. It is crucial in the journey not the end-point. It is crucial that I understood myself. It is crucial and I needn't hide behind the shield. Because everyone is the same, they have their strength and weaknesses. But I didn't get a chance to say bye before she left the school. Something I kinda blame myself for now.

Teresa
Girl girl. Don't know how we got close. LOL. Don't remember talking to her at all when we're at OH committee but somehow we clicked really well after that. She's so cute la I can't resist. :x LOLS. And i thank her so much that she called me more than once after knowing something is not right with me. It meant so much though I didn't pick up. I wasn't in the appropriate situation to talk and I didn't know what to say to her. **hugs**

;b

2008-02-02T11:45:00.000+08:00

I'm out out that idiotic circle! Woots!
And I have a vision for tomorrow. *winks*
Sounds so 'national day'.

New Policies
1) Optimize time.
2) Always wear a watch, sleep at 11pm, exercise
3) Do the best is everything you do. If you don't want to, don't even start it.

t-rex

2008-01-31T03:00:00.000+08:00

i have 8 eyes
i have 9 hands
10 legs and 20 heads
i have no mouth
i have no ears
and i stumble around
unconsciously.

Different but all in all still the same
An annoying little terror.

missing-in-action

2008-01-30T00:29:00.000+08:00

I'm needing more emotional support these days.
From whom? I don't really know.
It's been a perfect example of being lonely around people.
Like there's a lot of people around, but it's still empty there.
It's my own problem I guess.

Start missing some people whom I used to go to when I needed someone.
Start missing people who listens to me crying over the phone.
Start missing people who have seen the worst days I've been through.
Start missing people who I don't really talk to that much these days.
Start missing people who allows me to keep dreaming without reminding me of the reality.
Start missing people who would tell me I'm the best and I can do anything.
Start missing people who don't exist at all.

I'm a little scared of life these days
No I'm not depressed.
No worries people, I'm fine.
Just a little disappointed with myself and life thus far
Not really.
Actually I'm a little confused.
I think I need another session of breaking down and crying all night.
maybe with a company this time round?
But people who offered the help are always the wrong people.
Not wrong as in I don't need them but just morally wrong.
And I have no someone whom I can always go to, no matter what.
And people always ask what's wrong what's wrong.
but the fact is I don't have the answer too.
Perhaps it's the side effects of falling from the high end.
Perhaps it's just expectations not met.
Perhaps it's just the nightmares I have at night and no one but 4 walls that enclose me.

And I'm actually jealous of yl who could actually throw everything aside and give herself a little break to pamper herself.
yes i refer to it as pamper.
Some times some things, only the person could help himself.
I'm sure she'll walk out from it soon,
she just needs some time,
I hope she won't take long.

It takes some courage to neglect everything.
And I worry about attendance in school when i am tempted to go MIA.
What a loser. Rj says I'm different cause at least I don't go MIA.
Now it sounds like a joke doesn't it?

New Job

2008-01-27T10:09:00.001+08:00

People, I've got myself another job.
Yes, I have another job
I'm looking for trouble.
HAHAHA

Anyways, this is the place.
PRIVE.
I cannot say I'm exactly looking forward to the new experience
Especially with working partners I see there.
Somewhere near the harbourfront.
But I'm gonna work with Johnson and Bee!
So YAY.
Gotta thank js for landing me the job.

(: I hear the sound of more money.
*ka-ching ka-ching*

Starting work next friday.
Not working on the coming weekend cause I'm helping out with surf and sweat.
heh. Anyways, went for dryrun yesterday.
next week's gonna be packed!
I love packed weekends (:

swimmer

2008-01-25T14:59:00.000+08:00

Treadmill for swimmers.

I'm so gonna get this into my teenyweeny room one day.

historynotes

2008-01-24T18:43:00.000+08:00

曾经很爱很爱你
再见面时，
心还是会小路乱撞。
可是是错的
一切根本不应该发生。
要离我远一点，
知道吗？
you don't know how bad it has been.

adrenaline rush

2008-01-23T00:09:00.000+08:00

It was a pleasant surprise.
I could hardly remember your looks but you recognized me amist the crowd.
It was at least half a year since the last (and also the first) time we met.
And your messages were ever business-like.
And I replied with standard English too,
until you broke the rules with your "bo-sim"
But still. Replying in decent businessy language.
I'm meeting you some time next week for dinner.
Honestly, I'm quite nervous about it
There's countless doubts and fears.
(yes even though it's a week away)
Partly because you seemed really high on top
Like ---------------------------------------- there.

The whole conversation was slow and steady.
Far too formal and far too distant.
But there's this another side of my heart
drenched with adrenaline,
beneath velvet skin,
pumping with every hope that it's gonna be perfect.

next.

2008-01-20T22:32:00.000+08:00

There's a sense of guilt lurking.
The whole situation's morphed now, now it's all clear, it's my bad.

That's it. I'm gonna step away from this, for true enough, I'm no where near being someone who is in position to speak. Neither am I fit to be giving fair judgements to you, especially after the first few meetings. This is clearly not the 'me' I know of. I'm swayed this time round, because I was worried. I was biased. I didn't want her to get hurt and i predetermined you to be one of those sharp edges. Frankly, I was more than happy when there's someone with her through her hardest times. And you did well, no doubt. I so thank you very much. She could still dwell in the old well of tears and never be saved. Yet you were around to savage the situation.

Nevertheless, it works like a double-edged sword. All I can say is I learnt a little something each time, even though it is your story, not mine. Every little step of life has it's lesson to teach. Something else always comes when it all seemed nice and perfect isn't it? Your presence only seconded one of the thoughts I buried deep within me. You were a perfect example.

Like any other of us, I'm going to step back now. She will still have us when she needs us. For now, she has to believe that I'm not the best adviser, nor the best time- slowing factor she needs. For though I am willing to be anything for her, for now, I will only agree to do it if I don't hurt any other friend.

Side note: For a moment, I realized I was a little too reliant on someone emotionally. I was frantically searching his contact on the msn list, only to no avail. He's like a drug to heal the soul, for the people around do get hurt too when someone attempts to kill another. A drug I yearned right now.

He's online. How strange.

new chapter begins

2008-01-17T12:36:00.000+08:00

The first week of school was
Hectic.
Frankly, I'm not copping with it that well.
And if you see me online,
you'll always receive the (autoreply) message
"Busy doing work. Not at computer right now"

There's 2 VIS presentations tomorrow and
I've completed none.
I've just started on one this morning though.
gosh.
I need to plan my time more wisely.

love

2008-01-10T13:25:00.000+08:00

I woke up with eyes and throat pain and swollen.
The blisters on my foot still hurts.
I sat the the edge of my bed
breathing in heavy air in total darkness
still feeling sore from yesterday.
But I'm loved.
It's a blessing to know I'm loved.

I refused to look at my sister in the morning.
cause my eyes easily damps these days.
I hum my favourite song quietly
and cuddled myself.
I sms-ed johnson and told him that he needn't accompany me.
I need to rush back to school,
it'll make no sense for him to travel that far.
He was sweet enough already, really.
and I know I'm loved.

I was searching frantically in the car park.
I kept clicking on the car remote control.
no reaction.
Walked around and around the car park for the longest time.
There was no sight of the gray vehicle
nor its unlocking sound.
I called sister to check for the car's location.
She says it's exactly where I am.
"Wait. I'll find you later after I finish my stuffs if you still cannot find"
She sounds frustrated.
I sat down beside a car and waited.
A lady asked if I was okay.
I nod and smiled, replying with a "thank you"
She was in her 50s, gray hair and her face was wrinkled
yet she was the most beautiful person on earth.

When sister came.
She apologized.
She forgot that she parked in another car park today.
I said nothing.
Sshe asked if I was ok and
tears start streaming down my cheeks.
"Not okay, I'm not okay"

I wasn't mad at her.
But my body just wasn't functioning well.
I just need someone to embrace me and
assures me that everything is okay.
Even if that person was uncertain too.

Then I remember some things vids said yesterday.
And I was looking through the good night messages he sent.
And I'm reminded again,
I'm loved.
And I remember the "cheer-ups" from ter and jiesheng.
And I remember the random talk with joe
And I remember the people I love.
So yeaps.
(: loves.

panda roars

2008-01-09T20:19:00.000+08:00

For no reason, je came to ntu today
and pops in front of me with this thing
along with the flashing smile of his.
My heart skipped a little
you won't understand how it feels.
Much more than mere happiness.
He really made my day.

Note to dear parsley.
Be strong girl. I don't know what else I can say or do. I don't know how I can help. I just don't the like feeling of seeing you sad. (:

Capricorn

2008-01-08T20:53:00.000+08:00

I cooked dinner.
It was supposed to be MY dinner.
Because sister says she's gonna not eat dinner to lose weight.
So I didn;'t prepare hers.
But I happen to cook more.
I could have left it in the fridge for tomorrow.
But I was nice, I offered her.

I was out. jogging.
Tired. Hungry.
When I was back,
I realized she finished everything.
Every single bit.
Dinner was more than one-person's share.
And she didn't breathe a word.
Oh wrong. She did say something.
"You cannot blame me, how am I supposed to know I cannot finish everything."
She didn't offer to cook me something or buy me something.
She just sat in front of her computer screen like I'm vacuum
Absence physically and emotionally.

I have had enough of her dirtiness and unwillingness to clean the house
So I've always been doing it all these while.
I got sick of telling her to keep her things.
Now I just throw her things into her room.
I cleaned the whole house except for her room.
All this, I had enough.
And this happens.

She's always eating what I cook.
Sh hasn't initiated to cook for me even once.
I's always me me me.
It's not cheap to cook as I used all natural ingredients ok.
I bought healthier food products which are more expensive.
I am, quite broke already.
I need to study and work.
And she bloody hell has a stable job.
And she doesnt help but give me more problems.
Seriously, I have had enough staying with her.
I'm gonna go crazy sooner or later.

My sister is a Capricorn.
My ex is a Capricorn.
Someone is a Capricon.
I really have to start believing these analysis.

" Bad Match:
Try to avoid B-types of Cancers or Capricorns. This Cancer asks for constant attention and can be too temperamental for you. You will get sick and tired of these tantrums eventually feel that you want out of this relationship. B-type Capricorns sometimes become too selfish for you and they have the tendency to hurt your feelings verbally and emotionally. "

xx from http://www.astrology.com.au/compatibility/compatibility.asp

Aries + Capricorn
Fire + Earth = Lava

This really is a pretty tough romantic combination, Aries. The forecast is for an uphill battle! Some astrologers might even say that this is the most unpleasant match in the zodiac! Your ruling planets — Mars and Saturn — are diametrically opposed forces. You’re extroverted, whereas Capricorn is introverted and shy, even sullen at times.

Capricorn is sober, practical, realistic, slow and steady — and a wee bit too conservative for your liking, Aries. They need a carefully mapped out plan for everything in life. ( I don't really agree with this point. Because I'm more of a need-to-plan-everything-kinda-aries) You prefer the thrill of the unknown, and are always excited about where life’s river might take you. ( I do agree with this though. Sometimes I do something totally opposite from what I planned.) These are very different attitudes, you’d have to agree. If you find yourself attracted to a Capricorn, don’t expect them to drop everything, on an impulse, to do something with you. It just won’t happen. Your wild and impulsive moods will give them the heeby-jeebies.

An Aries–Capricorn combination will pull your reins tight, and pretty soon you will be feeling boxed in, like a caged bird with its wings clipped. You’ll be unable to exercise your freedom-loving muscles. From the other side of the picture, your lively and exuberant energy will make traditionalist Capricorn feel as though they’re being whipped into race pace, which they hate — they need everything in their life to move at a slower and more deliberate speed.

However, Capricorns secretly wish they could experience life the way you do, with boundless effervescent energy and optimism.

Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn, is laid up in Aries. This means the stern and sober attitude of that earthy star sign is essentially at odds with you. Capricorn could well put out your fire.

那些日子

2008-01-06T09:17:00.001+08:00

The night is dark and the cold wind freezes to the bone even though the windows were shut. I was desperately switching channels, looking for something stupid on the tv. Something like spongebob squarepants or taiwanese variety shows. Something to clear the clutter off my mind. Before that was series of calls with various people over two different places I'm supposed to go to. Yet my limbs refused to move. I have a million and one things left undone, yet I'm desperately searching for something redundant to do. You understand how it feels?

Take Number 1: It isn't very fair to me, is it? But we all know one fact, there's no such thing as being fair. I don't understand how my heart works, how it controls my emotions. And I don't understand your definition of friendship, because it's just so different from mine. I've lost the desire to plan and do something nice for you. I've lost the motivation to sacrifice to please you. Perhaps I've learnt to be a little more selfish, to address my own issues before yours. You know it isn't used to be like that. You know I'll used to queue for a couple of hours just to get you something you briefly mentioned that you want. You know I'll try to cater to your preferences when it comes to a meeting time or place. You know I didn't mind spending more money for something you want on your birthday. Or maybe you don't. I didn't realize, I did recently that it has all changed. I became a little more shallow, or in your words, "more real, less-hypocritical". Somehow, I know we're working our way towards being surface-only-mates and the scary thing is I'm not exactly trying to stop it.

Take number 2: I'm so sorry I didn't make it there though I did have time to rush down. It's the fatigue, mood and just not in the right state of mind. But still, it's not the actual date yet rights? Haha, there's still time to celebrate. And I am truly guilty that I didn't go, perhaps it's because I didn't get to eat the fried rice you cooked? Muhahahas. (:

Happy Birthday to both! (:

Personality test

2008-01-06T07:51:00.000+08:00

Did a little test here : http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
kannasai.

Test1:

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education :
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Test 2:

You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

boobs

2008-01-04T08:56:00.000+08:00

him:
the yy is the most scary 1....
change e most... not onli her complexion change lor... nw she apply the breast cream for 2 months liao... wah lao... yest when i saw her... she looks damn endowed. shucks...
/ / me:
go apply lo
o.o
him:
i hav chest not breast
my gf wan 2 try liao lor
haha.. coz she c too mani cases
den she gek tio
wahhha
// me:
so big for what
him:
no nid big la.... got cleavage wear clothes nice liao... dats wad my gf saes
coz onli ur bf n ger fwens will c it bare mar... if not for other ppl dey onli c u wif clothes on.... dats y no nid big...wear clothes got cleavage enuff liao... haha
// me:
lols. some clothes dun really look good
him:
i wan my gf to feel confident too la
// me:
like with broad shoulders
look kinda chunky
him:
she will feel good too
n i will b proud too when my gf looks good
me:
// she feels confident becuse she has cleavage?
orhhh okayss
hahhaa
him:
though she looks good nw liao.. but wif a better figure...i tink more guys will turn their head
// me:
lols
then you;'re in danger
him:
no la.... as in when u hav a better figure... u will naturally feel more confident

Yes, though i agree confidence might increase a little when you start to have cleavage or whaat ever sort. And yes maybe it's nicer when you wear low-cut tops. While I would love to have a bigger breast, i just feel that it's kinda unhealthy to depend your confidence on your.... cleavage? Like hello. Girls sounds like bitches over here. Like hmmm. will die without breast. hmmm. And honestly, not all girls looks good with huge breasts. But ALL men love big boobs, i understand.

And I feel a little uneasy when I talk to him these days. He kept repeating the same phrase. "If you.... blah blah blah... you'll feel more confident." Baa like trying to cultivate me to depend on my looks for confidence. For one, i think it's just so not right. For two, I think I have a certain level of confidence in myself. Looks and capability.

Updates.

2007-12-30T19:02:00.000+08:00

24th December 2007
It's christmas eve, baby! Spent in a hotel room at Grand Copthorne with zues (including johnson, david, gerald, joey, kianhai, suyun, boonbee, vanessa and yvonne). It was the best Christmas ever. Everyone was high and honestly, I suffered from withdrawal symptoms even though we met up again on boxing day. It's like the post-orientation kinda feeling, you know? I really do love these people.

25th December 2007
Christmas was spent resting, rotting and simply enjoying the slow-paced life with a cuppa latte and snuggling in bed.

26th December 2007
Tanning at Sentosa with Johnson and Boonbee because someone didn't turn up as agreed. She was supposed to go cycle with me as I didn;t wanna tan hurs. I did talk a lot that day. A little too much I think. Met Gerald and had dinner at Fig and Olive at Vivocity. I had some mango sandwhich and it wasn't fantastic but there's compensation made with the company I'm with. In addition, I didn't get darker after the tan. All thanks to the thick layers of sunblock I applied. So in conclusion, it was a splendid day. After that, we traveled down to cck after that for our usual routine of tau-huay. This is round, it was accompanied by chee-kway. Chee-kway is disgusting by the way, so is chee chiong fun.

27th December 2007
Met Bengleong for a iridaoogy test at cityhall. Wen and shirhee accompanied me there. I'm so sorry I was so slow. Then we had subway (my favourite) and met yiru and silli at paragon and had bowls of soup at soupspoon (another of my favourite) before heading down to shirhee's place.

28th December 2007
04s62 gathering! We met at settlers at holland village and had hours of fun with taboo and another-game-which- forgot-the-name. I wasn't very pleased with the service there. And I've already listed it under my "condemned-list". But overall was great. And I got myself a cuppa warm milk from coffee bean before getting myself a free ride home from hester and her boyfriend. First time in a car drove by her. And if you're asking, yes, I am still alive.

29th December 2007
Another day of nothingness. Happy belated birthday Joey. You're the nicest guy ever and I can never imagine my life without you (thanks for being my street directory all these while.) loves.

30th December 2007
This is the day. I met up with xiuming (aka siew mai aka heather aka xiu xiu) and got my first DSLR - D400 Canon. More updates and more pictures from this camera soon. For now, it's coffee prince and pushing daisies from tudou.com

-

2007-12-25T17:29:00.000+08:00

Basically, i have became Samantha.
That's not exactly how if feels like.
At least it wasn't like this at that point of time.

hmms

2007-12-18T01:26:00.000+08:00

Hmmm. It feels like someone snatched your favourite teddy.
It feels like you've been abandoned on the streets
Then you see it.
Your teddy
In someone else's hands
Across the street.
And when that person turns around.
You reaslie it's your friend.
She didn't notice you.
But you don't hate her.
You hated the teddy instead.

real man

2007-12-08T08:45:00.000+08:00

i saw something interesting over at blankcanves.

TOP TEN TRAITS A MAN SHOULD HAVE
(from a lesbian to man)

1. Quit whining
I absolutely detest men who whine. The cost of petrol has gone up? Don’t drive. Can’t cope with your workload? Bring it up to Management or quit. Singaporean women are too materialistic? Don’t date them, live up to their expectations, or go buy yourself a wife from some third world country. Quit whining and get with the fucking programme. Do you need the government or your mummy to tell you what to do?
me - **rolls eyes** i think i talked about this in a previous entry before

2. Ladies first
Entrances, food orders, conversations. A man with manners would let a lady go first. Just in case we have pea brains reading this, perhaps I should elaborate further:

- Entrances:
Doors aren’t really that heavy, trust me. It won’t break your arm opening one for a lady to enter first.

- Food orders:
Here’s where a lot of gentlemen wannabies go wrong. It’s your job to order for the lady before yourself, and not have her cite her own order before yours.

- Conversations:
There is a bloody reason why the ladies always complain that you never listen.

3. A man of his word
If you make a promise, you keep it no matter what. A man worthy of his cock knows that actions speak louder than words.

4. I believe this is yours…
The equation is fairly simple. Your decision = the consequence = your responsibility. Unfortunately, given how spoilt rotten our precious sons are compared to our second class daughters, I don’t see a lot of local men with balls to accept responsibilities for their own actions.
me - speaking of this, it reminded me of this close friend of my sister who just went for an abortion recently. Her THIRD abortion. Yes. And I have talked to her before. She's really a nice girl. And golly fu*king shit I dont know why she's always stuck with crap - guys who make her go through the pain of abortion and still thinks it's okay. I mean seriously, if a guy make you go through this shit, it is time to ask for a break-up.

5. Don’t make someone else do your work
I detest skivers, both men and women alike. If you’d like for someone else to do your work, have the decency to pay for his or her time. And don’t you dare take his or her credit.

6. Be decisive
Make a decision and stick by it. Don’t be a wuss and spend 20 minutes wondering if you should buy a pink or blue Paul Smith shirt. How the hell are you supposed to lead a company if you can’t even decide on the color of a damn shirt?
me - geesh. i am damn guilty of indecisiveness

7. Admit to mistakes
Only when you recognize your shortcomings then can improvements begin. And that’s why a good amount of us stay in the same vicious cycle making the same mistakes time and time again.

8. Rolling your own moolah
A real man does not take pride in driving daddy’s sexy Maserati; he knows he didn’t earn it. A real man takes pride in making 1/10th of what his dad makes, only because he has done so on his own.

9. David Beckham effect
I have no idea what warrants a man to demand any respect from me should he spend more time in front of the mirror than I do. Unless of course, he is gay. If that’s the case, I’d probably want to pick up new styling tips from him.
me - david Beckham effect's acceptable for me though. lols. we could go shopping together.
In fact I like guys who are aware of grooming.

10. Not everyone’s as encouraging as your mother
There will be times when you, your work, or perhaps even your uglyfuck face, get criticized by others. Don’t get personal, get even. Prove them wrong. Else, pay a visit over the weekend to your mother and have her reboot your ego system.
me - like what i told wen. I want guys who have confidence of themselves. A little higher than an average guy. But I can't stand the egoistic guys. But ego nd confidence tend to overlap. No wonder I'm still single. lols.

ohgolly

2007-12-07T08:58:00.001+08:00

Oh golly god. The ex-colleague i used to hate the most was crowed the superstart of the fnb industry. Oh my god. Eweeks.

2007-12-07T08:58:00.000+08:00

Oh golly god. The ex-colleague i used to hate the most was crowed the superstart of the fnb industry. Oh my god. Eweeks.

AAries

2007-12-06T13:34:00.000+08:00

Aries & A-TypePersonality:
You are perceived to be passive, warm-hearted and quiet. However, you do own strong pride and ego, which no one can convert. You have the instinct of a pioneer and that is why you enjoy competing under competitive circumstances. This is why you fit for as a natural leader. Be careful of your destructive, hot temper. Sometimes it is necessary to show gentle expressions on your face.

Love Tendency:
You have trouble expressing your feelings but you have all the romanticism stored in your mind. Now you just have to try to get this across to your partner because you are not the typical one-night-stand style of person. You wish your partner would understand your mood swings a little more because that is basically the only negative trade about you. After all, your wish is to just meet someone and keep a long relationship. Who knows if this is the person for marriage?

Life:
Your strong, competitive spirit is a great asset for your future career. Employers really respect you because you are responsible and diligent. One day you will be acknowledged for that. Avoid stepping on other people or else you will hear that you are a tactless man. Take solid, small steps during your middle ages because you can experience a big downfall for that.

Good Match:
Your most compatible match can be a Gemini, Aries, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius of O and AB blood types. You can say that this is love at first sight. Attraction with them occurs almost instantly because you share the same instinctive feelings. This is chemistry at its peak! Those of O-type have this certain aura that can lead you toward the proper direction of life. The reason why you are compatible with the above AB-types is because they provide you with this certain level of comfort zone nobody else can give to you. A-types of the above-mentioned zodiac signs are also ok.

Bad Match:
Try to avoid B-types of Cancers or Capricorns. This Cancer asks for constant attention and can be too temperamental for you. You will get sick and tired of these tantrums eventually feel that you want out of this relationship. B-type Capricorns sometimes become too selfish for you and they have the tendency to hurt your feelings verbally and emotionally.

omg. all i can say is, this is so freakin true.
There's a lot of people around me falling sick these days. wenwen, daren, michelia, sister, jon. Get well soon alrights! Be strong and healthy like me! lols. (:

dream

2007-11-30T20:27:00.000+08:00

dreamt of flying? loves here.

I shall declare.
My new idol - Korean Typographic design, Ahn Sang-Soo
He was in adm for a seminar today and i was totally in awe with his works.
He's my new god.

poof

2007-11-28T15:16:00.000+08:00

Exams are over. Projects are over.
How great.
There's load to do.
Loads coming up.
A month of holiday's practically not enough.

Little bitzies to share:

Little 2D animation that's nicely managed with a little 3D for the mtvs at Japan. Take a look here. It's a series of these bouncy rabbits in prisons.

A-character-a-day. This was my idea for 4D systems project last year! But it didn't work out anyways. And I see that he's just started with the little cutie characters. Take a look!

shine/g

2007-11-23T13:48:00.000+08:00

wen-shing is leaving.
I don't feel that good.

the office man vesus the beach boy

2007-11-23T10:08:00.000+08:00

Oh no. I realise I really prefer matured old man. LOLS. Maybe not old, I like men with clear visions in mind of what they want and know they're in control. Like I freaking cannot stand guys who whines and me and tell me how low confidence they are. I mean, they can be uncertain of course. but list out to me the choices and maybe I can help in any way possible. Tell me what you've done and what you're unsure of doing. Not whine and whine and doesn't even know what options he have. And especially after I encouraged them, they keep bugging me with "I cannot do it I cannot do it". Oh maybe they're just like you know humble. But sometimes I do that you know, like says stuff like "die die die, fail fail fail". But I don't go ON AND ON about how dead I am. I grumble a little and I stop. I might be worried but I dont keep repeating the same words to anyone. ANd especially If you expressed no interest in listening to me, I freaking hell stop. Man, some people really dont get body language. Arghs, cannot stand them.

I mean seriously, get a dream. Advance towards it. Have fun on the way of course. But at least know what you want? Okay maybe I'm being too harsh here. According to jon, some people just wanna whine and have someone too listen to and talk crap when they have totally clear ideas behind the back of their minds on what to do next. They just need to let it out a bit sometimes. ok. Arguement valid. But it's only valid when you dont do it so often.

Actually I can tolerate some people. Hmm... Depending on who it is. I realise I can tolerate some people. But Oh man, I can't really tolerate some childish guys. I mean, I AM childish enough. So i'm like the benchmark, anyone goes below will be categorized under oh-my-god-i-cant-stand-you. But then again, I realise I'm pretty matured when I'm with some peeps and get really crazy and kiddy when I'm with others. Perfectly normal, so maybe this doesn't apply to everyone. But freaking. I admit I am attracted to office man more than a beach boy (but an office boy who beaches sounds good). And boy I realise have a lot of kiddy guy friends around me. HAHA but I do enjoy their company, like a little baby brother you know? But sometimes I get really irritated when I need to encourage and pacify him. And I suddenly have to become more matured to cater to them. Oh this reminds me of my kiddy elder sister who makes me feel much older. o.o Oh wells, this is getting out of topic. The main point is, it irritates me . And suddenly I realise I've grown out of the using baby names and sometimes people who use them irritates me.

And oh I'm learning to stop listening that much and start scolding these people who're wasting their lives moaning. I'm learning to speak my mind. And if you hurt me, I'll freaking kick your butt and tell you in your face that you suck. I wont go home and cry anymore. If I need to cry, I'll freaking cry right there at that moment. Somehow I realize I lack friends whom i can talk about my deep emotions with or maybe the way we looked at life. More in-depth conversations on people and life. Like I can only name a few right now. Some, just don't listen. Some, just scares me.

Oh rights, anyways, just need to vent my anger a bit and produced an entry of random and totally incoherent thoughts.
2 more papers to go next week. I need to bury myself in books.

posted for jing

2007-11-14T23:39:00.000+08:00

BS801

2007-11-14T18:33:00.000+08:00

Ye I kow everyone says it's the easiest module ever.
Yes I thought so too.
Therefore I only allocated 24 hours to it (including sleep).
And now I get what I deserve.
A whole good load of almost 10 questions on virus
when I haven't even seen the virus lecture slides at all.
And only a couple of questions on translation transcription when i spent so much time on it.
And they're freaking easy quesntion which everyone should know the answer.
oh golly great. With the help of the bell-curve, I'll score even worst.

Expected grade: C

And i forgot to charge my freakin bluebooth player.
How am II supposed to survive through the night?
Hmmm. Hungry. Who can dinner with me?
Somewhere far far away?
Jst for a while.

Anyways, came across this photographer's site
http://lightedpixels.com/
Gosh. you know some times there's just things that make you wanna live a little longer no matter where you are, what you are feeling, or what you're goning throught.
This is one of them.

Depeche Mode - Somebody

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
Aaaahhhhh....

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
And in a place like this
I'll get away with it

library

2007-11-13T10:39:00.000+08:00

can i say something?

i really hate non-admers hogging the adm library.

-

2007-11-13T09:58:00.000+08:00

dad, i am not one who will nag at you.
But I am also not one who will forgive you.

product.d

2007-11-09T08:14:00.000+08:00

bugholzbadewannen's Transparent glass bathtubs.

nice. I still remember coming into adm
wating to practice in product design

but only to back out after a semester's attempt on 3D

It's not my thing, I figured.

I can't sit in the technical lab whole day doing filing.

So ya, I rather sit infront of computers.

As planned, I woke up at 5am today.

Alright alright I did dily-dallied a bit

but i still did manage to get myself out of bed alrights.

Saw lam and salina at the open lab doing their graphic design.

And it got me a little excited.

I kept turning around to peep at them

imagining how my new semester will be like.

Imagining me dealing with swrils and flamboyant colours.

In love.

And vid, get well soon will ya? mentally and physically (:

I'm a friend too.

neat freaks.

2007-11-08T13:44:00.001+08:00

I realized a matter-of-fact.
That i'm actually obsessed with neat freaks.
Like other girls are attracted to rich or cooking guys,
I'm attracted to neat and clean guys.
Not in dressing wise,
(Of course he can't have spinach stuck in his teeth whole day and wear the same pair of jeans for a week)
But household wise.
Almost all guys who have organized rooms get an extra 50points on their score sheet.

random: I'm totally obsessed with the colours of voguegirl photoshoot and I'm gonna make myself a lunch bag after exams.

jack & jill went

2007-11-07T11:56:00.000+08:00

... to the black market.
I'm really excited about this.
I'll try to get a car, no promises though.
My Dears, you're invited. shall we be out?

There's so many things I want these days.
A DSLR, macbook/mac desktop, wacom.
Speaking of DSLR, there's a really cool review here by HOW
and it'll prolly help if you're looking for one too.

And gosh, i'm so amazed/amused by makemylogobigger.com
All I can say it's they're really smart
I mean, I'm definitely attracted to it if I'm a client.
And the promotional video's really corny.

madness.

2007-11-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

I'm so totally in love with the Vienna choir boys.
Missed it yesterday in the theaters
partly because I need to go to school
And partly because there's no one to go with me.
Kinda regretted it now and it feels like fish bone stuck in throat.
Here's some to quench my thirst.
*Do pause the bg music (on the left hand column)before playing them.
More other audio here.

Took a break with youtube and coffee.
(: lols
madness stacko.
She must have spent her past few years of her life doing nothing but stacking

Exciting project.
Gosh Now I feel like repainting my room.
Shall do that after exams.
Yes. shall do it.

viscomm.

2007-11-05T08:03:00.000+08:00

People, I've officially changed to major in
visual communications.
The excitement will start next semester.

I've fully transformed the dining table into my work table
and has perfectly made a mess out of it.
It's getting a little unbearable.
Time to pack.

harper.

2007-11-04T09:37:00.001+08:00

Read this - How to have an amazing day by Craig Harper

I like no. 2 and 4 and 9 the most.
OH and i realise they're kinda similar.
hmmm and yes I do a lot of no 10. No wonder my work's so not effective
Thinking and not doing equates to not doing anything.

I must get that deep into my brains.

oooohhhh my favourite bitzy

"Smile when there's no need"

I shall do that today. LOLS

the routine.

2007-11-04T06:04:00.001+08:00

I'm getting used to the routine.
Getting up at 5am
Leaving the house for school at 5:30.
Sometimes I'll drive.
Sometimes I don't
If I do, I'll bring along my laptop
If I don't I'll not bring a lot of stuffs.
If I do, I'll make myself instant coffee in school.
If I don't, I'll get some coffee at the interchange.

I had a realisation this morning,
that my coffee has no aroma at all.
It's perhaps why it taste so sucky too.
Can't expect much from cheap coffees.

It has become a habit to speed. to drive at at least a hundred.
Today I got a little too adventurous and hit 140.
It doesn't feel too fast until things start flying over when I have a sharp turn.
It's probably the empty roads,
or the dark and damp atmostphere.
Maybe it's just me not paying attention,
allowing my thoughts to wander
or maybe it's just class 95 without a DJ.
There's no Glenn. There's no FD. There's no one.

This morning, I dont know why
but i needed someone to be with me.
quite urgently.
A someone to give me that smile of assurance before i head school
But what's to reassure about.
And who's to be available at this wee hour.

I had another understanging about friends last night.
I talked to wen and jon when i needed them
They were busy with revision but they insisted I should say.
They listened.
Said heart-warming things that made everything turn on the right track again
miraculously.
It's way more effective than keyboard, drawing, cooking or even music theraphy.
It's way better than milk, banana or chocolate theraphy.
When you open out your hearts, you realise there's a lot of people who care,
sometimes someone you dont expect.
And even though your problems are nonsensical or illogical according to jon,
he'll make you feel like any problem's just too sutpid for you exhaust time brooding over.

It has become a habit to be the first car in the adm carpark
It has become a habit to park at the exact same lot.
It has become a habit to forgot to turn the rear view mirrors in

This morning. I woke up at 3 instead.
It was a little different, I didn't have a hard time to get myself up.
Made some pasta.
Tried on the apron from jing
Cleared the laundry
and watched some morning tv before heading for school.

I parked my car. Breeze through the empty rooms at B1
There isn't much people in adm today.
Quite a nice surprise in this cold morning.
It's prolly because it's a sunday, most people some on saturdays.
But there's a few hardworking souls who stayed thru the night.
I've grown to love to work on sundays.
Partially because of the slightly empty rooms.
I have this fear for crowds of people who I know.
They prolly have to work like chinese ancient handscrolls;
reviewing to me few by few, batch by batch.

And this morning,
I have my almond nuts.
And hot coffee.
It feels a little too good to be true.
But there's no one.
I'll get over that.

幸福

2007-10-29T08:50:00.000+08:00

幸福。我很幸福。
不要再想要求设么了
要敞开心房
朋友关心对方
朋友帮助对方
是平常。是温暖。
要学着让爱你的人暖暖冰冷的心

fallen in love

2007-10-29T00:13:00.000+08:00

I've fallen in love with ironing men's shirt and matching them with the pants.
I've fallen in love with living alone cause I can do nothing and wear almost nothing.
I've fallen in love with sorting and organizing everything and labelling them accordingly.
I've fallen in love with having white stuffs in white as always.

holga

2007-10-28T11:19:00.000+08:00

okay people, get ready.
I've finally purchased the HOLGA!
**huge explosive of light"

Yes yes, at last because you've had heard me going on about getting one ages before anyone was born.
So ya, finally. (:
Whee~ She says it'll probably come in within the week! so who wanna go on a lomo-boogie trip with mw some weekend?
loves.

Kelvin hunag de jiang - little girl

2007-10-28T07:23:00.000+08:00

whee tis is nice

And i think this little song deserve a little more intro to it.
http://www.avex.com.tw/kevin/

Huang de jiang - little girl.

Got to know this song only when I know this clip's directed by one of adm seniors zihan. I thougth the visuals brought both sweetness and pain to one's heart, to mine at least. And I'm a little addited to it now i kept repeating it again and again. Do listen to the lyrics carefully too. Kinda fints my situation I guess. And I feel so protected when I'm listening. AS if there's really someone, a guardian angel looking over me. A big brother whom I always wanted since young.

digital art painting

2007-10-23T17:32:00.000+08:00

Jac has been a little busy.

Okay. I admit. Very very busy.

So busy I missed a lot of gatherings leaves home before the sun gets up and only return when it's dark. Sounds a little sad. baaa. nevermind. I see my holidays coming soon! And changing major. A new life. (: HAHA

Okays. here's my Digital Art Painting mid-term assignment. It went through quite a lot.

From

to horses

to butterflies

to the final one. AHH. it did change a lot didn;t it?

the aura of happiness

2007-10-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

I was talking to a friend today and he told me about this girl that he's rather close with recently. He has so much to talk about between them and I swear I feel an aura of happiness when he was talking about her, like how the nimbus around the heads of Buddhas in paintings looked like. It's really strange cause I could feel that sweetness too even though I haven't met her. I feel the blissful moments too as he brought me through them verbally. I have to admit I was laughing throughout the whole conversation, not at anything about them but at the little uncontrolled-sweet-smiles he had when he described his special someone and when he unconsciously defended for her. And I miss talks like this with friends telling me how blessed they are. I have no idea but it's got this strange ability to make me believe that love truly does exist in this world.

silly silly me

2007-10-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

i always tend to overblow my abilities
and i end up weeping alone in a corner.
thinking and i can do it
but i can't and it does hurt
i still wish someone will love me
and point a finger in my face
tell me how silly i've been

sketch

2007-10-11T00:49:00.000+08:00

A little sketch jerome did of me.
But hrms. it doesnt really look like me hur?

not very fine.

2007-10-09T07:48:00.000+08:00

You're doing very fine. Helping out with your dad in his business and flying to London and China so frequently you're hardly ever in Singapore. Every time we talked, you're overseas and you're going to Reading to study in a couple of years time. You're doing fine. And I'm happy for you that you're doing good. But it brothered me that you're talking to me in this business-y way. Like you're trying to show me that I've made a wrong choice then. Testing me on technical info to make me feel stupid. Just plain stupid. And telling me in the face that I'm just "lack of knowledge". I'm not really offended by the way I'm seen being stupid but rather, the way you're talking to me right now.

work study scheme + dentist

2007-10-06T20:07:00.000+08:00

Agreed to help the ADM year 2 film students with their shooting.
This is the first day.
Monk's Hill Secondary School, abandoned school.
Supposed to be from 5am to 7pm.
But I work up late and it ended early.
Not much of a shooting was done today.
More of planning.

ally's shooting point - PE store - which looks like a prison

incredibly real fake ipods.
ruru's shooting group

school corridors compound.

i got to act as a random student in aida's film.
All i did was to "start laughing" after "rolling" was shouted.
shux's group's really nice 60s movie posters.
I didnt get the photos but her actors look like they walked out from the history books too.

Dessert Temptations.
A nice restaurant at Railway mall sells really nice desserts and pasta.
Go on. try them

Dentist visit.
Skipped school to go to the dentist.
~~Cheap thrill.~~
Wrong. Luxury happiness.
It cost me $56 at Alexandra hospital.
But I love the visit. I love the dentist.
I love it when she looks into my eyes and tell me I have perfectly healthy teeth.

the gentleman

2007-10-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

What Kind of Guy Will You Fall For?
	You would fall for the gentleman. Keep an eye out for your love at your next formal or field trip to the opera. Watch out for bad boys who walk on the inside of the curb and don't hold the door for you, and you'll end up with the guy who's suave, sophisticated, and classy through-and-through.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

family

2007-10-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

Seriously,mom.
I am really tired of all these. I really am. And when you post me that question, I seriously don't have an answer. We're all adults already and if that makes you happy, I'll support you if you think it's the only thing you can do. I really tired of confronting dad and both of you screaming at each other. And dad's obviously not going to change, mom. Man never changes. It's really not a thing for a woman to do to wishfully hope he'll change for the family, change for you. I know deep inside you don't want all these to happen and you don't wish to nag. But really, I don't have an answer for your questions too. We're all grown-ups. And your daughters are earning money to support themselves. They can survive on their own and you need not worry about us anymore. So really, do what that will make you a happier woman. If it really will make you happier. I'm missing your smiles you once had and the peaceful family dinners we have everyday.

arjuna cinta

2007-10-03T23:47:00.001+08:00

I'm so so totally in love with the Malay version of 'tong hua' (:
(i.e. the back ground music in my blog)

http://saintshafiee.imeem.com/music/GIlEnlVm/aliff_aziz_cinta_arjuna/

又想起你

2007-10-01T15:09:00.000+08:00

爱一个人是永远的。
七年后无意间在网上看见你的相片
心还是会闷,
还是会想按下滑鼠储存下来。

爱一个人是永远的。
好久好久没见面，
没一起聊天。
但是意外的收到你的简讯时，
我的心却很暖，仿佛上了瘾似的想你。

爱一个人是永远的。
不知道你最近好不好。
不知道你是否有照顾自己身体。
不知道你有没有又因心情不好而喝酒。

爱一个人是永远的。
只是现在不再是心宜的对象
只是家人。
只是朋友。
很久没联络却很想你的朋友。

爱一个人很难
不爱一个人更难。

don't understand

2007-09-30T02:22:00.000+08:00

说那些也只是报告一下我的近况，不是想要炫耀之类的。
不明白为何你要不服气得比较。

Film Festivals

2007-09-29T14:01:00.000+08:00

23rd French Film Festival
11th German Film Festival
Next reel International Film Festival

anyone hur? (:

ART260

2007-09-28T17:39:00.000+08:00

i'm spending forever doing my ART260 assignment. Anyways, this is the face part. I'm trying to look for higher quality pictures for the body. >.>

terribly cui

2007-09-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life
1) I was late for one and a half hours for a movie (although it wasn't really my fault.)
2) According to that person, I said a lot of wrong things (without myself realizing)
3) I allowed someone to treat me movie, dinner and send me home.
4) Someone thought I was very cui. (though i do agree)
5) I am cui and I feel not being good enough in every way
6) I need a hole for me to bury my head into.

There goes my first impression.

xx. Jon managed to console me and coax me to sleep. He has this special powers. He can always untie the knots in my heart and make me feel so much better even when the earth comes crumbling down. And even when I feel like I'm in the deepest shit, he always manage to say the right words that warm my heart or to ease the pain. He's there. He's always there to protect me. It's a very special feeling and I have this tiny selfish wish that he'll be there for me always.
p.s. And i shall declare that he'll be the first person to know if i ever find my xing fu. so don't be jealous okay. LOLS.

kbox, movie, tcc

2007-09-25T03:00:00.000+08:00

Woots! Went kbox-ing with renjie, teresa, yiming and ym's frien prescilia finally! Finally after thousand of years of planning (: I thought i'll be later but it turn out that the guys are even later. Tsk tsk. Anyways, had lunch at pastamania with teresa's friend junjie before we went kbox.

the girls and the guys who are not paying attention

Went to watch no reservations with rj and teresa after kbox despite joey saying that it scored really low ratings in the newspaper reviews. But it was really nice! And it got my eyes all damp and all. It was such a sweet movie alrights! Go watch it before it's gone! And i'm so guilty because i forgot i agreed to watch with my sister and i came home all happy and telling her how great the movie was when she reminded me that I was supposed to watch with her. Opps opps. Sorry. sorry.

Went to have dinner near *scape because it was so freaking cold we have to go somewhere outdoors asap. There after, to TCC to chill after that cause i don't really wanna go home that early. Heh. Rj had an important call so teresa and i slacked around, looking at the food, wondering if we should wait for him to come back before we start and got a little crazy and took funny pictures. lols. He came back just before the cafe closes and he sent us back before he went home. As i'm staying in btpanjang, teresa's going back to hall and he lives in bedok, the taxi literally went from

town -> bt panjang -> boonlay -> back to bedok.

yes yes very sweet of him and the taxi driver loves him so much he gave rj his number so he could call him if he needs a taxi next time and he'll be given a discount. (: (: (: (: (:
- 5 happy faces for him. lols.

yes yes we're trying to promote tcc. I think i can be makansutra's next cover girl LOLS.

tiramisu (gosh it's really nice. Strong taste of coffee liqueur), pecan-caramel latte topped with marshmallow (yes i know it sounds nice. and it is nice in actual fact), banana-soyamilk-shake (ewwk), American cheesecake

mooncake festival

2007-09-24T11:50:00.000+08:00

Went shirhee's house with sisters for moon cake festival cum her mom's birthday party on saturday!! (And i didn't know about it until the day itself! Argh) The whole celebration is such a HUGE WHOO-HAA lahhh! So totally out of my expectation. It was GRAND-SCALE okay. There's prata-man! There's ice-cream-van! There's satay-man! There's buffet-caterers! There's mini-getai-cum-ktv! There's more food stalls! There's Lion Dance! It's like a mini-chinese-garden or something!

David joined us after that and we played Indian poker, zong ji mi ma and drank as forfeit. Had lots of fun until 3am in the morning and cabbed home after that cause i didn't wanna stay over.

I didn't have enough cash so i wanted to pay the taxi driver by nets. But something somehow went wrong and it wasn't approved. But he was nice. (: (: He took down my number and said he will call me if he confirm he didn't receive after checking. I mean, he could have drove me to an atm machine for me to withdraw lo. But he didn't and keep assuring me that's it a "small matter" when i asked if he was sure it's okay. So, yeps and i checked, there's no deduction from my bank account. So if he doesn't call, I'll have a free ride home. Hahahaa.

Darling, dont feel guilty already okay? (: loves you.

My darlingsxx whom i absolutely cannot lose (:

worst day of all

2007-09-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

My thumbdrive had error and needs formatting in school when it works perfectly fine at home. And my prof look as me as though i'm this trouble kid trying to get away with this silly nonsense when the fact is i did do the research.
My prof thinks my idea sucks and im being too ambitious and non-realistic. I think he just didn't like me.
I broke my shoe at 10:30am and I have meeting till late in the night today.
I woke up late for school.
And most importantly, I forgot to bring my handphone which i desperately need. I need to collect keys for the meeint tonight. Gosh, i'm a terrible secretary. Aww how how how?

cui.

2007-09-19T15:46:00.000+08:00

I saw minglong in the canteen today. And his first reaction was "WHOA why do you look so pale!???" After rushing to the toilet and see myself in the mirror, indeed, i have to admit, i look shagged. Damn damn damn cui. Argh, no this must not happen again. I think i need to wear red tomorrow, or hot pink or even luminous yellow. I shall look energetic and bubbly tomorrow!

War today was filed in the "Keep In View" file. Everything needs the dean's nod and unluckily the dean's out of town. So yes, hopefully he replies Deb's email asap. And seriously, i think Deb's fab. I'm looking forward to the turn in my life.

update: i lost the war.